If you haven't heard the "Real Men of Genius" commercials on the radio or seen them on TV, then please contact NASA to tell them to cancel their Mars program, cause you're already on another planet. But just in case here's a clip. Simply substitute the following lines in ode to Aaron Miles.
::Soft Piano with 80's ballad Rock plays::
The Cardinal Virtue presents: Real Men of Genius!
(Real Men of Genius!)
Today we salute you, Mr. Hitting-a-Grand-Slam-when-a-Sac-Fly-will-Do-Guy.
Without your overachieving we might be forced to only beat the poor Padres by one run.
(Chicks dig the Long-Ball!)
Like hunting a rabbit with a Howitzer, you blow away the opposition with extreme prejudice.
(Get me a Sport's Shrink!)
Should you trot around the bases like a San Diego Padre pitcher? Or perhaps put extra padding in your helmet?
(His head's like Bond's!)
Sure you've only had two homeruns all season but your surperfulous overkill pushes Buddy that much closer to the unemployment line.
(You've only had 2 homeruns up to this point!)
So crack open a fresh Belgian brew oh master of the demoralizing disaster, because you make for dang sure that we still get our $.25 fountain drink.
Doesn't matter that it was the Padres. The Cards come back again. I knew they would. We were down, and I just had a good feeling. You know those times where you are watching a game, the Cards are ahead and you know they are going to blow it. Well, this was the opposite. That is, until Izzy took the mound. Now, look. I'm not one of those people who's going to boo him. I'm not going to ride him, but he's getting hammered--before and after his "injury". These aren't little dribblers with eyes. Or bloop hits. These are crushed hits that hit the wall before they hit the ground. It's sad...sadder than Mulder sad.
But I digress. The Cardinals were able to overcome in the end with an unlikely finish. A walk-off grandslam by power hitting...Aaron Miles?! That's right kids, lock up your daughters, turn off the lights, and pretend no one is home...cause chicks dig the long-ball. Too bad he can't hit that when we REALLY need it. Don't get me wrong, I'm not one of the Miles haters. I think he's underrated. I just find it funny. Anyhow, I couldn't be happier with the offense lately.
Rumors are flyin' about Fuentes. Perhaps the Rockies have dropped their price with the deadline looming. I hope we don't give up too much.
Garcia looked strong (except for the first inning). Schu should have really brought that one down--but the sun was brutal. Glad to see Tony wise enough to not work him too hard in that heat. Not glad to see Tony NOT pinch hit for him, and then relieve him next half inning. Huh?! Of course, Tony pulled all the other right strings--cept Izzy.
Mike Shannon was in great form last night. His interview with Ozzie Smith was classic!
Now here comes the real work--lets beat them Brewers!