"Anti-Gems"

Call me evil. Tell me I'm sick. Say whatever you want but here are some juicy comments that I found on various blogs. Enjoy!

"Awww, Poo Holes!!!"

"Nothing like the swift horse kick in the jimmy of tonight's two-out, two-strike homer by Pujols."

"Everybody on Planet Earth knew it was so far gone."

"By the way no rinky-dink tee-ball homer into the circus seats for Pujols."

"If you truly love the game of baseball and see the bigger picture, we witnessed one of the most beautiful hits in the game of baseball when Pujols knocked that pitch out of the park. I hate it that he did that. It makes me sick, but when you love this game, you know that what we saw in that hit was pure beauty."

"Of course you're not going to win. Baseball in Houston is a clown show with your stupid buzzing, the silly little costumes, and those chip shot boxes in left field."

"If I hear one more person on the radio whine that Houston is "owed" a World Series, I'm gonna spew."

"Man that ball got outta here in a hurry. I mean anything travels that far oughta have a…stewardess on it, don't you think?"

“Juuuuuust incase you missed the last 50 highlights of Pujols going yard, here it is again folks in slow motion!” Astros fans, do you care for lemon juice to go with that salt on your wound?”

"They have found a way salvage a loss from the jaws of victory."

"It was like "Field of Dreams." But this was "Field of Nightmares.""

"We're in deep doo-doo."

"I know Astros fans are meant to suffer, but isn't forty years the usual limit?"

"So what, a KCMO firm designed Enron Field. Big deal. Still doesn't change the fact that there is a HILL IN CENTER FIELD."

"Can we agree that there's no such thing as a "closer" when Albert Pujols comes up to bat?"

and the Cou de Gras:

"Pujols stood there admiring that home run while Phil Cuzzi ran over from his right field post to signal "FOUL BALL!""

Click here if you're feeling really mean.
http://eksports.blogspot.com/
http://plunkbiggio.blogspot.com/


"Laugh it up Fuzzball." -Han Solo

-CJ

What the heck?

A totally scorched and crushed baseball was found in my backyard today. Anyone know anything about this?

-CJ

From Worst to Best

Two outs. One of the best closers in the game. But Eck does what he does best. Edgar who? Edmonds battles to get on base. Pujols, mighty Pujols. I woke up the entire apartment complex. He smoked it up over the train tracks. I always hated that stupid train whistle every time they score. No whistle for that! I loved watching the reaction of the fans as they go into a state of absolute shock. Pettite was hilarious. You can see him mouth "Oh...my...gosh."

And for those who were wondering. Yes, I was praying. Back to Busch.

-A very happy CJ

Worst Ever

I have never in all my years seen a game called as poorly. The strikezone was anything but "consistent." All sorts of high and low calls going for the Astros but nothing for the Cards. Then ejecting Edmonds was CRAZY. It doesn't matter what he might have said you can't eject him there unless he bumps him or something. This isn't regular season. What is wrong with the Ump that he has to have his crew chief stick up for him and then has to eject one of the premier players in the game because of something he said.

And how bad is it that we can't get a runner home from third with no outs. I'm too steamed to write more. The Astros are too good a team for the Cards to have to play against the umps too.

-a really mad CJ

17-12!!!!

So I'm watching some football yesterday. And they've got MLB baseball scores in the little box in the upper righthand corner of my TV screen. And I see STL 17 ARI 12!!! I'm thinking holy cow that's a high score. Then I'm thinking...wait we don't play the Diamondbacks today. Then a gamebreak and I hear that St Louis despite little offense pulled out a win!!! WHAT IN THE WORLD?!!?!? Then I realize that the little box in the righthand corner of my TV screen switched to NFL. And I feel pretty silly...

-CJ

Fish...

All of a sudden I'm an Astros fan. Happens every year. I start cheering for some team that will make it nice for us. I REALLLLLLLY want to play the Padres in the division series. And the only way it looks like that will happen is for the Astros to rise up. Prob is if they don't then the Braves get about as close to a free pass to the 7er. But our beloved birds deserve that free pass. And don't worry about 'Stros in the 7er. They're not half what they were at the end of last year.

"Bow to your Sensei!"

-CJ

Who me?

Wow its been a long time since I've posted. I guess that's what two summer school sessions of grad level biblical Hebrew will do to you. I'm not out of the woods yet as I still have 3 weeks of good times. Then its "out of the frying pan and into the fire" as the fall semester starts up.

So....Injuries galore and we're still 10 games up on arguably the hottest team in baseball.

Imagine a Cardinal's lineup with a healthy Rolen, Molina, Edmonds, Pujols, Walker, and Sanders. Just imagine.

And let me tell you what I'm sick of. "The Astros sure are dangerous with those 1-2-3 starting pitchers. In a short series blah blah blah." Its true. Any team with quality starters will be dangerous in a short series. But seriously...lets give the Redbird's starters their due. Carpenter (CY frontrunner), Mulder, Morris (a resurgent) then imagine Suppan and Marquis coming out of the pen. Yeah that's sick. Astros don't have that. And they don't have Carlos "he should have that removed" Beltran to hit 9 HR's in an abreiviated postseason for them. Kent gone too? Sure the killer B's are in rare form, but does anyone think that they will stay at that? Think Petite will be healthy? hahahhahaha

The Cardinals have maintained a 10 game lead with the likes of Diaz and Mahoney, J-Rod (man he takes a beating), Seabol, John Gall (about bloody time he got the call), Luna, and Nunez more than frequenting the lineup? This is not what one would expect to maintain a lead the likes of which the Cardinal's are sporting. This season reminds me of a basketball game. A team packed with stars gets out to an early lead and then has to rest starters for foul trouble, injuries, or a simple breather. Then they put in these guys you've never heard of. But just when you thought that the trailing team might make a run without the stars in there the scrubs hold em off, and even extend the lead. Is there anything more demoralizing to the team trying to come back? The current Cardinals roster is doing just that. With healthy and great pitching and a more than scrapy lineup, let the Astros be the "Hottest team in baseball" all they want. Imagine as they real off another 8-10 stretch and they look up and still see another double digit lead.

Man, its good to be a Cardinals fan.

"Your mom goes to college."
-CJ

Concerned?

I am. Call me nervous. Call me unsatisfiable. Call me irresponsible. I am, but don't call me Surely. Wanna know why?

More than one weak series against the Reds, Pirates, and Rockies. Doesn't really boost your confidence.

Several wins by only one run.

Hope remains in that several losses were by only one run. And even though we split a four game swaf with the Pirates we dramatically outscored them.

Honestly, it seems eerily similar to the way we played in the last post-season. We play strong against the Dodgers. We start strong against the Astros and then we almost blew it. We then get cloobered but a freight train with fate graffittied on one side and Red Sox on the other.

Unless we start playing like the 44 Birds...

"Its much easier to find four good starters than five." -Earl Weaver

-CJ

Smokin'

• That ladies and gentlemen is a GEM. 2 baserunners through 9 innings. That's how you spell relief. Carpenter really showed up Halladay's splended performance from the day before with 1 hit and 1 walk and no runs through 9IP. AND against the former team. Proving you really can have your cake and eat it too.
• After Walker talking about walking, many in the "Cardinal Nation" (not the blog) began to be worried (myself included), but with the comment "especially if we win the World Series" and a 2 HR-hustling-performance, Redbird fans can rest easier.
• The fact that the Cardinals continue to shine without Rolen and Edmonds (bruised ribs for the past two games) only continues to lift my hopes (not that they were low) for this season.

-CJ

Benching A-Rod for Marquis?

Yup. That's what I'm doing in my fantasy league. Why? I'll tell you.

*Background singing: "He's going to tell. He's going to tell."

STOP THAT! Stop that! No singing on my blog.

With my last post I wondered if I wasn't as loyal of a Cardinals fan because I said some crazy stuff like Lee deserves to start over Pujols yadda yadda.

Then I ran into a small problem. I have A-Rod and Marquis. Against my better judegement I have benched A-Rod and started Joe Randa. Unwise? Most likely. Will I pay? Probably. Am I loyal? You tell me.

"What's wrong with her. She's beautiful. She's got huge...tracts of land."

-CJ

All Star Game Voting Run Amuck

Okay...something has got to be done. We the fans are not intelligent enough, apparently, to vote for the best player. We'll keep a running count of when the fans get it right and when they don't. (Stats don't lie...usually). (Stats will only get a "point" when the public is wrong). Now some people might object that injuries aren't the player's fault and doesn't show who is the best player. Was Ripken's streak just luck? In order to deserve an All-Star vote....you have to play. Oh and another thing. I know its a little early. All the more reason to get on to the millions who have already cast their ballots. ****AND BECAUSE SOME FEEL THAT MY LACK OF USE OF stats like SLG AND OBP IS A SIGN THAT I am part of the public I accuse let me say this: YOU ARE RIGHT. KINDA...read the comments for further details.

Starting at 1B:

1B-NL Albert Pujols has over twice as many votes as Derrek Lee. This is despite the fact that Lee has a .385 BA over Albert's .338, 3 more runs, 3 more HRs, 7 more RBI's, and 4 more stolen bases. AND all this on an inferior team. Eck is getting on base--a lot. Edmond's poor performance as of late and Sanders in a slight slump recently might contribute to a lack of protection for Albert. In addition, I think that Albert's stats will rise and Lee's will come back to earth. However, as it stands now one should not select Albert over Lee. However I wouldn't fault you too much--'cause its Albert.

Stats 1 Morons 0

1B-AL Hold on to your wigs and keys kids. This is ugly. Maybe the ugliest. Tino Martinez (Card's fans may get warm fuzzies voting for this likeable guy but come on) is leading in the AL. Who's second? Kevin Millar. Third? Paul Konerko. You have to get to the fourth to get to the best AL first baseman, Mark Teixeira (that's a doozy to spell). Here are their respective stats. Brace yourself. BA: Martinez .238!!!!! Millar .255!!!!! Konerko .228!!!!! Teixeira a lousy .303. HR's, I suppose, is what they have in common? Teixeira and Konerko with 14, Tino with 12 and Millar with 4. Never mind. Mark has 13 more Runs than the nearest of these 3 fan favs, more RBI's, and even leads, tied with Tino, in SB! SB is singular. (Whaddya want? They're 1B not jack rabbits).

Stats 2 Forest Gumps 0

2B-NL Good. We needed to recover from that last one. Kent has twice the amount of votes that 3rd place Grud has. Despite Grud's strikingly better BA, Kent's power with 11 HR's (3 for Grud), and he leads Grud in just about every other category despite being on such a poor team means that the morons aren't O-fer any more.

Stats 2 Kids 1

2B-AL Very well done for the kids here as well. Soriano and Roberts are neck and neck. Roberts has an astronomical BA while Soriano has 4 more dingers. Soriano leads in most of the other categories because of the hammerin' Texas lineup. The Orioles aren't slouches either. Fan's get it right again. Wonders never cease.

Stats 2 Public 2

SS-NL Just when you thought things were going well. Our vote leader: Nomar Garciapara. The man has been on the DL SINCE HIS 51st AB AND UP UNTIL THEN...wait for it...he was batting .157 with ZERO, count them again if you have to, ZERO HR's. Tino take a seat. This is the worst. Below is listed the NL SS's who would qualify over Nomar **takes a big breath*** Barmes, Perez, Izturis, Reyes, Lopez, Rollins, Vizquel, Eckstein, Furcal, Hall, Blum, Everett, Gonzalez, Greene, Clayton, Wilson, Aurillia, Perez, Cintron, Hardy, Guzman, Woodward, Jackson, Vizcaino, and finally Jesse Garcia--the fourth Padres' SS on our list and despite fewer AB's managed more HRs.

Stats 3 Bad idea when cousins marry 2

SS-AL Tejada has the most--as he should.

Stats 3 Average Joe 3

3B-NL Scotty Rolen has a commanding lead despite only playing in 30 games and sporting a .257 batting average. Second place isn't any better with Chipper Jones only playing in 30 as well but has better stats in EVERY category known to man-kind than Rolen. How do you justify voting for 2 guys who have played only half the season. Glaus is third, and while he is strokin' em with 13 HRs, he's got a pathetic .251. Hardly a All-Star Starter. A surprising Ensberg or Wright would be much better choices--both with power AND BA.

Stats 4 Highest Order of Primates 3

3B-AL A-Rod is dominating. Glad he's on my fantasy team.

Stats 4 Peeps 4

C-NL Another one bites the dust. San Diego's Ramon Hernandez is far and away the best NL Catcher. Yet he has so few votes that he doesn't even register (I assume he has at least some votes). Let's compare Hernandez with the top 5 NL Catcher vote getters. BA: Hernandez .289, Piazza .253, La Duca .287, Estrada .275, our own Yadier .250, Barrett .275 Runs: Her 25, Piaz 21, LD 17, Yoda 17, Barr 15 HR's: Her 6, Piaz 6, LD 2, Yoda 2, Barr 5 RBI's: Her 31, Piaz 22, LD 21, Yoda 17, and Barr 23. You do the math. Unless you're one of...them. Then trust my math when I say he's "far and away."

Stats 5 Brain Farts 4

C-AL At least they get it right on this end. But Ivan could sneak up and steal it from the deserving Veritek. Jason is lucky that he plays in Boston so he gets the votes.

Stats 5 Bob and Company 5

(OF is worth 1 a piece)

OF-NL Who should be there: Miguel Cabrera and Bobby Abreu for sure; than okay picks would be Carlos Lee, Brady Clark, Pat Burrell, or Milton Bradley. Who's the top three in votes? Carlos Beltran, Jim Edmonds (close but no cigar), and Ken Griffey Jr. Residents geniuses drop 3 on this one. AH but I can foresee the comments and emails now: "But John, they didn't put Bonds up there at least." No they didn't. But for a guy who hasn't even picked up Don Baylor's tooth-pick let alone a bat all season 138,000+ future Ivy leaguers put up their arms for the SF out-outfielder. Not enough to get him into the All-Star game but enough to show the fan's ineptitude.

Stats 8 Larry, Moe, Curly, and the other guy too 5

OF-AL Who belongs? Sheffield and Damon....Ichiro, Garret Anderson, Rondell White, or even Trot Nixon would have sufficed. Instead? Vlad (not a terrible choice in the face of a small injury [but see note above]) and Manny. MIT grads got one right with Ichiro.

Stats 10 "Happy Hands Club" rejects 6

DH-NL You're probably one of the ones who voted for Nomar and Bonds aren't you?

DH-AL We'll end on a note that might bring some hope to humanity. Ortiz. But I'm betting that the reason he has the most votes is not because of his stats but because he's the only DH they know of.

Stats 10 Napoleon Dynamite under-study 7

Conclusion: Have sportswriters, players, coaches, managers, bat-boys, or monkeys at type writers do the All-Star voting instead. Sure they got several right. That's not the point. The fact is the public has blown so many but such a wide margin. There are deserving players out there who are getting robbed of the honor they deserve.

Homer's Brain to Homer: "That's it I'm out of here." ***Footsteps. Door opens and closes.***

-CJ

Sweet Slider Good Bye

Have you ever seen anything like it? EVER? Not me. Sick just plain sick. I love it. Its like golfing for Pujols. Never have I seen anyone have such mastery over the strikezone and take a perfect pitch like that, one-handed mind you, out of the park in the clutch. (Of course another 1 run win against a bottom-feeder). 1 game away from the best record in baseball and things are looking good though. The ChiSox are overachieving right now, to boot. And the NL Central is underachieving right now. If the Cardinals continue at this rate it would take more than a cessation of the underachieving by the rest of the Central to catch up. Don't expect it to happen. 'Cause it won't.

Its worth repeating: The rest of the NL Central needs to make like a well placed Colorado Slider and kiss it Good-bye.
-CJ

1-Runnin' em

Several of our last wins have been by one run. I guess one shouldn't complain, but against the pathetic Royals and Pirates? Somehow I expect our boys in Red to hammer those two especially.

But I am not very concerned as every team will go through low points. Which leads me to a different lense which one may look through. Its a good thing to hit one's low points against the "cellar dwellars." So its nice to win when you're playing your worst.

But let's put the other hat on for a moment. But our worst should be more than 1 point above these guys right?

Seriously, this the professional level and any team is capable of beating any team any day. Here's to hoping that we are any team and not any team.

-CJ

While I was away...

Well...I successfully finished another semester. I think finals went well. So while I was away...

• The Cardinals keep Rollin' without Rolen. In the end this could be a really good thing. Kinda. It means that guys like Mabry and Nunez will get more AB's and they are hitting pretty well. I'm not implying that they are better than Rolen, but I am saying that its a good thing to get them into the swing of things instead of fermenting on the bench.
• Izzy's back. And I have been fairly impressed with the Bullpen's performance thus far. Brad Thompson has been a pleasant surprise. But it is nice knowing that Jason is back to wrap things up. Last nights K against Abreu with the bases juiced was quite a relief. Probably why they call them relievers, huh?
  
• Molina seems to be more comfortable with the stick these days--an addition that takes the sting away from losing Matheny's excellent but albeit expensive glove.
• Noticing a dramatic difference between last years Central and this years (so far). Only one team at or above .500. Wow. Last year it seemed like the Central was the cream of the crop. Could it be that perhaps....dare to dream....I was right? With the subtractions of Sosa, Alou, Kent, Beltron etc. has the Central been thinned of its prowess? I think the answer is clear.
• First full day off since I don't know when. Going to see Star Wars (better not have any annoying Gungan's this time). Going to write my first real blurp for my blog in I don't know how long. Going to NOT think about the language of ancient Greek. Going to make like Kyp and chat with babes all day. Okay...okay....maybe not the last one.

Free at last!
-CJ

FINALS

That's where I've been. I know you all miss me a ton. **cricket noises** ahemm... Have no fear. I'll be back in a week or so. Let's try not to lose another series to the Padres while I'm still gone.

"You have the worst reflexes of all-time, Kyp."

-CJ

4-0 top of the third

Carpenter has a one hitter through 2. Looks like we have another quality start in the...wait for it....Brewing. In baseball's version of the "Bud Bowl" the boys in red have had quite the advantage. The Brewers, one of MLB's bottom feeders when it comes to payroll, can't expect to continue to shell out peanuts and expect to field a regularly competitive ball club. The Cardinals, on the other hand are near the top when it comes to payroll, although significantly lower than your Yankees or Red Sox types. With the Cardinal's off to their best start since 82 one begins to wonder if they can surpass last years wonderful 100+ win season. I expect good things. Reasons they won't surpass it:

• the always present injury bug (see Izzy for more details)
• Bullpen questions
• luke warm bats

But are those real questions? Are those real doubts that are unique to the Redbirds? Hardly. With a low OBP and BA one might question the bats. But who are they kidding. Its just a matter of time before things really get going. 6 hits through 3 innings is a good start. Any team is in danger of the injury bug. And if the rotation continues to get quality starts...what bullpen questions?

Reasons they will:

• Healthy (for now)
• Mulder, Morris, Carpenter appear to be firing on all cylinders
• Quality from Suppan, Marquis
• Strong Bats (formidable lineup, top to bottom)

"I've got a good mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it."

-- Groucho Marx (Duck Soup)

-CJ

The A's called. They want their...

10

4

0

All bow in worship of our beloved X-files!

And now you know....the rest of the story! Good day!

-CJ

Bad Cardinals Fans of Significance?

The best stuff in this article is near the bottom. So don't start reading, get bored and leave, UNTIL you read the bottom.

With a host of possible problems, Mulder, Rolen, Julian, et.al., one has to worry--even the most positive. I'm not talking lying awake at night or even having nightmares, but when you sit down to write about "your team" you feel...unsettled. 3-4 and just a few quality starts. What are you supposed to feel--happy? Hardly. I suppose someone will hollar that I should be grateful that we did pull out a couple that we SHOULD have lost. No...that only makes me feel worse. Thanks for bringing it up, Einstein.

But WAIT! Let's not forget the fact that at the end of May the Cardinals were merely 4 games over .500.

Ahh I feel better now.

Don't you?

On an entirely different note. QUICK! In the next minute think of all the negative interactions between Cards fans and any visiting opponent. QUICK! In the next 10 seconds think of negative encounters in Yankees vs. Red Sox. Which one is did you come up with the most? Let me know what you think. I for one know that there are some great Yankee and Red Sox fans out there. But ratio-wise, why is it that there is an abundance of bad ones for this rivalry? (And I even read a blog trying to say the fan DIDN'T take a swing at him. He claimed that he hasn't seen a replay that shows an attack definitively. Apparently he needs to adjust his rabbit ears and turn on ESPN). I want to know how Veritek got a triple when a fan actually hit a player. And the guy was SIMPLY EJECTED. No prosecution!

The biggest hating I've ever personally seen by the Cardinals faithful was vs. my favorite Cardinal of all time (then Giant) Will Clark. But the hating on him because of his hard slide into Oquendo (before the coaching days) could hardly be counted as "an incident." Plus things sure seemed forgiven after an amazing finish to his career in St. Louis. I believe Will holds the record for most curtain calls per Cardinal at-bat. (No, I didn't look that up).

Did we have any streakers during Mac's run? But that is a different type altogether.

In 10 seconds I could think of 4 at Fenway and that's just thinking of the past two years. I'm sure people with better memories could easily think of more. And I'm not even talking about between the players. There is something there in that rivalry that I am glad doesn't exist in the Cubs vs. Cards. Some may say that the other rivalry is better, because it is more intense. Personally, I don't think so. I love going to Bush and seeing the Cubs hats. I love seeing Fred Bird atop the faithful that visit Wrigley.

fortunately, there are tons of great fans in that NE rivalry, and they FAR OUTNUMBER the slack-jawed morons that pull stunts like the other night. But pound for pound seems like the NE has more than their fair share.

BTW When is Christian Family Day at Bush this year?

-CJ

Wasn't Pretty But it Works

I'm sure it wasn't what Mulder had hoped for, but I am sure that we'll take a win any way we can get it. With 4 ER through 6 innings, Mulder was good enough to hand it over to Reyes and Izzy. Reyes did give up a couple of BBs but 3 strikeouts in 2 innings makes me pleased. Izzy gives up two BB and gets 2 K's. I'll take it.

Question of the day: Are you comfortable handing the ball off to Reyes in a close one in the late innings? I'm not--yet.

"Am I some clown here to amuse you?" After watching Scarface and Goodfellas back to back I have to say...wow that was depressing. I think I'll watch The Jerk again.

-CJ

Blogger is driving me nuts!

So, Petite is healthy.

Our bullpen looks weak. I'm not going to try and make it sound good. Many have tried to put a spin on things especially about Tavarez. He had a DISASTROUS end of the season last year. And was not impressed with his FIRST game back. His second game back-- not so much either. I think I might need to change the name of my blog to "I hope I'm wrong but...."

I digress...its only the second game of the season. Has last year changed your expectations? Let me know what you think. I know that for me, I think I might have too high of expectations. Is it out of the question to EXPECT 100+ again?

So here it is: 101 w's. Division crown and World Series appearance. Feel free to call me on it.

Rick passed waivers. Good thing. He looks promising at the plate. He's still young. Here's wishing him well. Promise: Unless Ricky makes it to the bigs you will not here me talk about him anymore.

Cubs look nice and suspect. Yeah I know....that's old news. I just like saying it. Here's wishing them healthy. I NEVER want to win cause of something tragic.

Lots of here's wishing.

"Kitten Juggling!" LOLOL

My first time seeing The Jerk.

-CJ